Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize