New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
