I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
