My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
