remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize