i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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