My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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