In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
