Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
