They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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