We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
