I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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