i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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