we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
