she looked like the bat from fern gully.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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