Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
