I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
