Me too!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize