Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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