Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
