Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize