I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
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It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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