I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
