id be glad to
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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