Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
