if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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