Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
