She's JV to your varsity
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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