I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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