i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
