woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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