Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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