SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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