I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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