Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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