Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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