There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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