ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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