glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
