Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
