Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
