I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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