we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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