just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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