If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
