I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
