And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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