I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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