...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
