ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
