hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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