He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
vagina is talking i cant
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
