I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
