Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
