He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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