I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have tasted many bathrooms
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
