I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
