you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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