Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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