Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
