You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
