so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize