we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
