So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
