A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize