Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
