Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
