I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
